Monday, January 22, 2007

Is there a draft in here?

Morning everybody? You like the snow. Awesome!!! Let it snow. Although . . ..

Is there a draft in here? It seems a little chilly. Why do my legs have goose bumps? Oh wait, I know why! Guess who shaved their legs? That's right, kids. The legs are hairless. I busted out the clippers and buzzed off the hair. No more Mr. Caveman for these legs, and now I realize why I didn't shave my legs all that often. The goosebumps, the mess, the scratching when it starts to grow again. I might just let the hair grow back. I surrender!!!

The reason I shaved so early in the season was to inspire myself to train more, and I felt out of place at the team rides being the only hairy legged dood there. Well, I don't feel out of place anymore (one of these people is doing their own thing), but my legs are cold and miserable. Then there was a whole new concern that occurred to me halfway through shaving my first leg. . .

You may have noticed I'm rocking the long hair these days. The picture in the upper right is a little old. The hair on my head is a two inches longer. The concern is that with the shaved legs, I could be easily confused for a transvestite. I'm not making this up. This the neurotic mind I live with. The conversation will go something like this in my mind . . .

Random Stranger: Excuse, I noticed you have long hair and shaved legs are you a part time transvestite.

Me (in the deepest voice I can muster): No, I'm a cyclist.

Random Stranger: Wow, I didn't know they let fat people ride a bike.

Me: Yeah, it ain't pretty.

Luckily for me, I have Fashion Rule #9!

Fashion Rule #9: Grown men shall not wear shorts unless they are at the beach or participating in an running/cycling race.

With jeans covering up my hairless legs, I have little worry that I will be confused for a transvestite. I also have what many people consider to be one of the deepest voices they have ever heard. (Oddly the only person I have met with a voice deeper than mine is a woman, but she is cool.) There is no reason to anything rash like cutting the hair on my head to a more respectable length. I like my hair the way it is . . . FABULOUS!!!


Scott said...

'Fashion Rule #9: Grown men shall not wear shorts unless they are at the beach or participating in an running/cycling race.'

I like it. Where's that from?

Charles said...

So, I cannot take credit for thinking of this rule. A good friend of mine from college told me about it when I was visiting him some years after graduating. It seemed like a good idea so I adopted it.

Calling it "fashion rule #9" was an artistic liberty I took to make the blog post a little more entertaining. I'm sure there are other fashion rules out there.