Tuesday, January 02, 2007

The Armpit of Mainline PA, Narberth

Today, I would like to talk about a small town located in the mainline suburbs of Philadelphia, PA. How can I put this? Narberth is to the mainline of Philadelphia as New Jersey is to the rest of America. Thats right! Narberth is the stinky sweat filled arm pit of the mainline.

This little town is mostly known for being the "closed in" town of the mainline in that it has no major thoroughfares running through it. Well, how inconvientent is that! Why would I want to add 5 minutes to my commute in the morning (and evenings) just to have peace and quiet. I enjoy the buzz of tractor trailers rocking me to sleep from Route 202 or Route 30.

Narberth is also known for its small town feel in the suburbanized mainline. Small towns are so outdated. I will take my drive through Starbucks coffee over walking a few blocks to a local coffee shop. I don't remember the local coffee shops offering any Norah Jones CDs? How about a scone? Ok well, maybe the local coffee shop has scones but I don't want to have to interact with the neighbors I might run into while walking back from the coffee shope. In my car, I just honk at them. Narberth has its own town bars. Filled with town drunks I'm sure. Luckily, they don't have to drive home. While the rest of us responsibly watch how much we consume, they can stumble on home.

From doing a little research, I have also read that Narberth has each of the following: A train station (right in town), a library, police department, a fire department, and recreation board. No doubt the recreation board is probably planning the next whippet party. All of these departments are nice to have but they put a large burden on tax payers. A little disposable income has much more value than a public library.

I won't even bother to mention the housing situation in Narberth. Just take my word for it that the old houses lack the practicality of modern apartment living. What am I going to do with a 3 bedroom and 1.5 bathroom , two story twin? I don't want to walk up and down stairs all day.

Well, if you are still unconvinced that Narberth is the armpit of the mainline. You will just have to visit it for yourself.


a concerned citizen said...

Dude, Don't you have to walk up and down stairs all day as it is - your spiffy condo is on the 2nd floor.

Charles said...

Do I visit your blog and ruin your lovely satires?

a concerned citizen said...

You might.