Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Accepting Bribes

I am currently accepting bribes to NOT post a picture of me in a Leopard Print Speedo! I will accept Cash and / or Favors! Let me know!

By the way, I am now an Uncle. Super Cool!

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Apparently I'm not that cool (nor do I want to be)

Happy Thanksgiving Yall! On to the story . . .

So, I went out tonight with my sister and her bestest friend Varsha. We drove on down to Manayunk after grabbing some dinner. It was a really cool time at first. We went to the Brew Pub and had a few drinks laughing amungst ourselves. It was a really good time as I said. Then we travelled down Main Street to Kildares in Manayunk. This around where things in my mind started going wrong. . .

Kildares was crowded and the hip people were out. Which was cool, but! It was crowded enough that I had this trigger of making sure my sister and Varsha were cool and not getting fucked with.

Well, we got a drink and went to the dance floor. I was cool for about an hour, enjoying the view, and leaving to talk with some ladies but then I snapped. I don't know if I sobered up or if the vision of my sister dancing flipped a switch but all of the sudden I turned into a body gaurd. (A skinny body gaurd but I was willing to fight to the death so I had an edge.)

Anyway my sister danced and a couple guys would attempt to dance with her. Let's just say it didn't really last all that long cause the stare of death that they would catch from me knocked some common sense into them and they would back off.

Near the end of the evening my sister walked away from the dance floor. I followed her a few minutes later only to find some balding dood talking to her. I think he catched my drift instantly cause he stoppped talking to her within in a minute of my arrival. I just kept looking at him and he knew.

A mintue after that a dood who was previously 'dancing' with my sister walked by her and smiled. Well, I purposely moved into his way. He bumped into me. It was great! I didn't get out of his way. He bumped into me 2 more times and said excuse me and I ignored him. He then slid by me and said something about me being an asshole. I just looked at like he was about to die. I think he caught my drift cause he kept on walking.

Anyways, we left at that point cause my sister and Varsha knew that I was pretty much ready to start a fight with anyone who would look at them. At one point I had handed Varsha my jacket cause I thought it was really about to go down.

When we got into the car and started driving home, my sister told me that one of the doods invited her to an after party. Holy Shit!!! If she mentioned that at the bar
I would be jail. I swear to god.

Well anyways, I apologized to Varsha and my sister for ruining their evening, but I'm not the least bit sorry. I can go to bed with a clear concious. I know what those guys were thinking even if they weren't thinking it. I don't give a fuck if I ruined my sister's evening or got in the way between her and a possible soul mate. I did what I had to do.

Friday, November 11, 2005


All I really want is to wake up in the morning with the same clothes I had on from the night before.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Yo yo

Pass me some Hoegarden smee! and be sure to stick a lemon in it.

12 Hour Nap

I decided to take a nap when I got home from work yesterday. I woke up at 3 am and figured it was time to stop all this napping and get some sleep.

Meanwhile in a far off location, Matt was eating all my sausage.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

You need to ask yourself . . .

Is the juice worth the squeeze?

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Regina George

Which Mean Girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

There is a hair in your moose.

The alternate title of this post was going to be "Experiments in Hair Care Products" but I liked the other one too.

So I've been thinking about my hair. Yeah I think about my hair, and I ain't ashamed to say so. I came to the conclusion that my hair is very thin. Thin like an anorexic. So I need something to give it some volume. Much like the anorexic would need an I.V. (to complete the analogy)

I go to the local Superfresh to paruse the hair care product isle. I see this thing called Mouse, and a clip from T.V. pops in to my head where Angie Everhart
is saying how mouse is the secret to great hair. Who am I to argue with Angie Everhart? She has good hair, so I figure I'll pick myself up some mouse. I go with the this Aussie brand mouse with medium hold. It is at this point that I get a little suspicous. You see I'm not really looking for something to hold my hair. I just want it to appear thicker.

Well, I wake up the next morning and figure I'll give this stuff a shot. I shampoo. I condition. I get out of the shower, brush my teeth, etc. I finally get to the hair part of my morning routine. I brush my hair straight and reach for the mouse. I put a dolp of it on my hand and place it on my hair and somehow my hair just sucks the stuff up like a vacum. No need to really move it around. It just melts right into my hair. Well upon further brushing of my hair I realize that there is one incredibly stiff area of hair. Outside of that my hair was the same as it always was. No real difference.

So ladies, (if any of you ever read this) what did I do wrong with the mouse? Or did Angie Everhart lead me astray? Should I go with a different hair cair product? Let me know.