Saturday, December 23, 2006

Bad Christmas Ideas

How is the Christmas (Holiday of your choice) shopping going, kids? You done yet? I'm not. Big surprise there. I was driving around in the hot rod, when it occured to me there are a lot of bad presents out there for the sweet heart in your life. Here is a list of a few in no particular order

  • Cash. Thats right kids. You may think this is a good idea, but trust me this gift is a no go. It means that you put absolutely no thought into that individuals gift. In fact, giving them nothing or anything else that on this list is probably somehow better than cash. I know what any guy reading this is thinking . . . ."This really doesn't make much sense though, cause with cash you buy anything." Guess again fellow doods.
  • Any entertainment material containing the artist known as Shaquel O'neil. What does this tell your sweetheart? It tells them you walked into your nearest FYE and walked straight over to the bargin bin and pulled out this peice of crap. You want to get your sweet heart something that stars Shaq? You get her tickets to a Miami Heat game.
  • Laser Hair Removal. Why you would get a girlfriend laser hair removal is beyond me. How about you write your sweet heart a letter that says, "You hairy freak! How about you do a little landscaping before you come over tomorrow night?" (No shit, what inspired this post was a Christmas themed ad on the radio for laser hair remover.)
  • Porn. If there is anything that is debatable on this list, it is this one right here. Depending on the kink of your girlfriend maybe a little porn is just what she wants? Just don't put the lastet copy of Psycho Sluts 3 under the tree to be opened in front of Grandma. Well, depending on your Grandma . . . .
  • Gym Membership. Do I need to explain why you shouldn't get this? Just take the Laser hair removal post on this list and replace the necessary words with either "fat ass" or "gym membership."
  • Potpourri. What does this say? Yo, your place stinks, and since you are too lazy to clean it. I think it is best we just cover the funk up. Plus it is potpourri? What are we in our fifties?
I know some of my readers out there could help continute this list. Let me know what you think some great bad Christmas presents are!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My brother loved is potpouri.