Monday, April 16, 2007

"A Man Returns From Vegas" News at Eleven

All right kids, gather round and let me tell you about everything that I did in Las Vegas this weekend.

PSYCHE!!!! What do you think I'm crazy? Whatever pops in your imagination will no doubt surpass any stories I tell.

I would like to declare a new term. Earlier you may have read about my Parisian Hangover, which was induced by time change and too much espresso in Paris. Well, here it is to no ones suprise, The Las Vegas Hangover.

What causes the Vegas Hangover? Well, I'm sure the cause is different for everybody who leaves Las Vegas, but it feels no different from a regular hangover and generally last 12 hours from the time in which your plane (which was most certainly a red eye flight) lands.

In other news . . . man loses money at the craps table. . . and gravity still holds everything to the earth.

Finally, I almost died driving home from the airport at 2:30 am on Monday morning. The Northeaster was in full affect. The cross winds were incredible. I need to give some props to the captain for landing the plane, because that could not have been easy.

Actually, let me rewind the tape.

I decided not to fill up my gas tank before driving to the airport because I saw that my tank had 57 miles left in the tank and the trip to the Phily airport from my place is ~25 miles. No need to fill up. I drive to the airport and park the car with 30 miles of gas left in the tank. When the plan lands I hop in my car and start driving home. 30 miles of gas, No problem. I did not realize that the cross winds were going to be as bad as they were. My car was being blown across the high way at times. This of course affects fuel efficiency. I'm 5 miles from home and the car says 0 miles of gas are left. Great. So now besides the rain, winds, and what appears to be snow, I might run out of gas. AWESOME!!!

As I pull onto the on ramp for route 202, my car starts sliding all over the road. Apparently the ramp had iced over. My car head right for the barrier. I thought for sure it was going to hit it. I managed to slow the car down enough to grab control of it. All of 202 was ice. My car was swerving through two lanes, I just put on the hazard lights and kept driving. I could not slow down too much either because I didn't want to run out of gas! It was not pleasurable.

Luckily, I made it home with the car running on fumes. More importantly, I didn't hit anything.

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